Rubbles turn into Roses

Back in Belarus, they organized several groups of girls of 15-16 years old to try a new method. What this method is aimed at is teaching girls about self-confidence, respect to others, skills of listening and expressing own thoughts and opinions, and importance of supporting each other in difficult situations. This year seminar is a result of a long way of hard work of women, organizers and leaders, and girls, a target audience and future leaders at the same time. Pinsk pioneers can now spread their knowledge and advise on method advantages and possible difficulties on the basis of own practical experience.

Instead of reading long and boring lectures Kalegium suggested that adult people try on the role of a youth group, which passes through Rubble and Roses course. As women from Kalegium say, in the beginning, they felt nervous about working with professionals in psychology and pedagogic. However as soon as they started, it went on perfect. Together they tried all methods of the course: Value Exercises and Forum Theater. In between, they used energizers to relax and to preserve energy for the whole day of work. It was a fun to observe adult people playing games as if they were teenagers. However you never know what it all leads to until you listen to participants opinions about what they do at the seminar. These are the very first impressions after the opening day:

Valery Gedko, a resident of Pinsk and representative of Grodno non-governmental association of psychologists, comments, “I participate in an event of this kind for the first time. I have often been in Grodno for professional psychological seminars. I study there at psychological department at the Grodno State University. However this seminar was something new for me. You want to know my yesterday’s impressions? It was fantastic. First of all, the atmosphere was so favorable. After a few minutes, all became friends. It was a real celebration of good communication, a holiday for our souls. It was a work, of course, but beside that it was a pleasure. I learned so much useful information. I am overwhelmed with impressions.”

The second day opens with a special guest’s speech. Linda Noren, a social worker and young politician from Social Democratic Women’s Organization S-Kvinnor from Borås in Sweden, came to Pinsk to share Swedish views and experience in working with girls and young women. In Sweden, Linda works with young people, who have long been unemployed. She also takes an active part in politics as, according to her, only through politics you can solve problems and make changes in people’s lives. Most time she gives for fighting for women’s rights and raising awareness among women. This is what she talks about at the seminar.

In Belarus, women play a very important role in all spheres and, at the same time, depreciate own importance and do not wish to advance themselves, to position themselves as leaders in their families, collectives, and the society. Therefore, it is always very useful here to have as many gender-oriented speakers as possible to let Belarusians know about importance of gender issues. As people say, "Little strokes fell great oaks." Day by day people will get used to such words as “feminism”, which is a real curse and unbecoming word today, “gender”, which is hardly known to the biggest part of Belarusians. It took Swedish gender enthusiasts a century to get where they are now. We are lucky to be able to use what they elaborated during this long period of time.

At the seminar, Linda Noren speaks about power methods and how a woman can fight against them. This problem is universal. In Belarus, women are all acquainted with this neglect, mockery, withhold of information, double punishment, and putting blame on women. It is very interesting to learn that there is weapon to fight through these low blows. At the seminar, women receive a booklet, About the Power, published by S-Kvinnor. The booklet says about importance of achieving power and ways of winning this power as well as means of overwhelming all obstacles on this way. Either consciously or not, men build barriers before women, who try to take leading positions and to participate in decision making process. Women should not give up as reigning of one sex and submissive state of the other will lead to a catastrophe.

Though in Belarus we usually think that Sweden is the most progressive in gender issues, Swedish women say that they still have problems in this field. It is especially obvious as far as work and leading positions are observed. Even at a school level, girls and boys are not equal. In politics, young women have to fight for their rights and they often feel lonely amidst numerous male politicians. They have to apply all efforts to achieve their aims. In everyday life, all women live under a constant pressure of TV-imposed ideal bodies and appearances. Young girls strive for fitting stereotype ideals. It all makes them feel diffident and miserable. The period from birth to 18 years old is a crucial for person’s development. This is when people’s views and morality form. This is why from the early age adult people should invest a lot into working with children, both girls and boys, into teaching them about self-confidence and mutual respect, into bringing them up in the spirit of equality. Otherwise changes in adult world will be impossible.

Linda says, “Feminism, gender equality, which often shocks people's ear, in fact means that women and men side by side fight for equal rights. There is no disbalance. We all want to live in a society, where equal rights and norms act for everyone. We work to support each other.” Linda gives an example of active forms of women’s efforts: women collect signatures to support their protests or statements and thus, to influence local authoritative organs or the Parliament. This is how Swedish women act if they want to have their power and to participate in making important decisions and changes in their lives.

Belarusian participants ask questions about methods of working with young people to help them find themselves, be strong and wise in difficult situations, and learn to find ways out in critical moments. Linda speaks about various means used in Sweden in this field. For example, a program called “A Key” is a support given by two specialists to kids and their parents, which help them unite to cope with a problem. Another way is organizing spare time activities by respected adults, who can serve as an example for the young. Linda tells about a project, which Swedish Minister on children and family issues will implement this summer. The high state official will tour the country to meet children, to raise issues of self-confidence among girls. It is very important that such questions are on the agenda at the highest political level in the country. Linda speaks about an expression that they use in Sweden speaking about some children: a dandelion child. A child is compared with a dandelion, which can grow everywhere. Such children have a lot of problems in their families and close environment. However they can meet other adults, who can positively influence their futures lives. Their love and feeling of safety can help kids return to normal living. Even though the work, which the society leads now, is preventive and its results will only be visible in five to ten years, still this work builds a foundation for further normal existence and development of the whole society.

Kalegium’s results look as a proof of Linda’s speech. In Pinsk school, where teens gather to meet Linda, a visitor will be nearly shocked at the sight of boys and girls, who treat each other with unbelievable respect, who do not beat or tease each other, whose jokes are absolutely harmless, and who are not afraid of cruelty and mockery, which are so usual in a group of teens of their age. Children say that it is the result of Rubble and Roses methods. All of them passed through Kalegium’s courses and now want to give their knowledge to the others.

Linda Noren shows young Belarusian a video message from young people of Borås, who suggest establishing international contacts and friendship. Pinsk teens have a lot of questions to ask: what kind of relations kids, teachers, and parents in Sweden have; what subjects children study at schools; when young people leave their parents to live independently; what Swedish young people like to do in their spare time. Linda hopes that her visit to Belarusian school will result in a good friendship.

The second half of a day is given to Forum Theater and Kalegium’s story about problems they met and successes they made working with Rubble and Roses strategy. As Nadezhda Avsievich and her colleagues from Kalegium say, “These methods do not demand special pedagogical education. When you use it to teach girls you learn to be tolerant, democratic, and attentive to opinions of other people too. We, adult women, have become much more self-confident.” Chesya Dudareva, Zhanna Dolzhenko, Tatiana Gonzhurova, and Nadezhda Avsievich share invaluable remarks and observations, which they made during their Rubble and Roses activities. In particular, they tell participants what can be done in the end of working period not to leave young girls alone at the moment, when they became attached to each other and to their adult leaders. In Pinsk, they found a decision, which allows to avoid dependence of the youngsters on their groups and adults. Here, 16-year-old girls work with younger kids. With a support from adult leaders they develop programs considering peculiarities of younger age and lead seminars for small girls of 12-13 years old. In this way, teenagers learn that their group was not a target but a means for them to develop their personality, to show the way to solution of many problems.

Professional psychologist’s opinion in the end of the second day:

Olga Dukhovnik, Grodno: "In today’s Belarus, it is very important to understand a social role of women. Rubble and Roses help women see themselves, their rights, obligations, and lives in a proper light. I have been working in education for 15 years. From the point of view of a professional, I would say that this program must be active in Belarus. As this seminar shows, even people, who were not educated in pedagogic or psychology, can use it. It is possible to teach parents about these methods to help them successfully build their relationship with children. It is possible that in Grodno we will try to teach parents, social workers, who deal with deviant children (and we have learned today that in Pinsk they tried to work with deviant children using Rubble and Roses). This seminar is the example of an active form of training. I have already worked with this form and would like to say that it is the kind of work, which gives real results. Running through these methods right here and right now lets specialists accurately and precisely implement them in their work. The active form of training is modern, actual, and efficient. This is not the first Swedish method, which we meet. And our specialists are happy to have these methods. For instance, we used to work with a program called “Workshop of the Future” with teachers and children. It proved efficient.

I also believe in importance of working with boys in order to solve a problem of male aggression towards females. It is necessary to teach boys about correct understanding of women’s role.”

To summarize this rich day Kalegium suggested an interesting form of reflection. Seminar participants had to choose a button from a big pile of them scattered on the floor and to explain their choice giving an associative analysis of their impressions.

Valery Gedko (Pinsk), “I took a gold button as it is a picture of my mood.”
MarinaVabishchevich (Skidel, Grodno region), “I chose the brightest one: this is how I am feeling today.”
Lydmila Ilienkova (Mogilev), “I took a yellow button. It shows how I am feeling now. Before this seminar I had problems. This meeting helped me realize that a way out is always possible.”
Ekaterina Katargina (Grodno), “Rainbow button embodies a variety of methods, games, and people. And all of this merge into a harmonic picture.”
Marina Matisejchik (Grodno), “I took a button with two holes. One of them is a prick – a painful problem. Another one is a way out.”

The third day begins with young girls’ visit. Katja, Olga, and Sveta, who successfully passed through Rubble and Roses program, now lead groups for younger girls. Kalegium members call this method “A Snow Ball.” Kalegium designed a master class, where girls mastered the methods of working with different groups, such as aggressive, interested, or indifferent kids. They also learned to choose proper games and assignments in accordance with certain situations and to understand their future audience without words that is with the help of mimic and gestures language. These skills helped them later, when they went to work with three new groups, two of which consisted of 12-13-year-old girls. Kalegium helped teen leaders during the seminars and after them when they reviewed their success and failures.

What is interesting in Pinsk experience is a boys’ group, which also participated in the project. Kalegium activists speak about their initiative – a youth club Peer to Peer, which unites both girls and boys. In their club, they learn and then pass their knowledge to their peers to help them solve their problems and build their self-confidence too.

Katja, Olga, and Sveta answer the questions asked by adult participants of the seminar:

- What did you receive from Rubble and Roses seminars?

- Self-confidence. We also learned to express our opinions and to listen to the others. We could feel comfortable and did not have to be stesnatsja. We learned to speak out without fear.

- Why did you decide to become leaders in groups organized for younger girls?

- We wanted to teach them to become self-confident as we were. We also wanted to help them solve their problems.

- What did younger girls like to discuss?

- Friendship, first of all. They liked games very much.

- What difficulties did you meet?

- In the beginning, girls were noisy, they criticized each other, did not want to listen. There were shy girls and bossy girls. Our task was to help shy girls become stronger; to give them equal chances to express their opinions so that in the end they all become equal.

- In what way did you relations with boys change if they did?

- It is easier now. We can communicate without fear with any person. We are not afraid of expressing our opinions of anything. It is not only with the boys in our club. We are absolutely open and comfortable anywhere.

- I used to have slight problems when communicating with boys. Now I have a lot of new friends, both boys and girls. There were people, who were not friendly to me. I was afraid of approaching them. Today they are my friends.

- It may be not visible from the first sight, but it seems to me that boys begin to treat us with more respect. There is no more difference between us. We are all equal.

- Do you observe interest to your club among your peers?

- My sister, who is a year older, is very interested. She asks whether we are going to open a group for older girls.

- Did you parents and teachers notice any changes in your behavior?

- My parents say that now I do not say silly childish things. They noticed that I learned to speak as an adult.

- My mother asks for my advice as if I am a psychologist.

- What are you plans for the future?

- I do not think that I will be a psychologist. However I like to work with young children.

- Whatever I do in the future, I am hundred per cent sure that this knowledge will be useful to me. This is a great experience of communicating with people. I learned to listen and to respect other opinions and thought.

Kalegium initiative became known in the town. They are invited to schools, where they demonstrate elements of Rubble and Roses to show how this interactive form of work can make for better contacts between children and teachers. Their another project Drugbox, a joint drug prevention program of Swedish Uppsala and Pinsk, is carried out in Pinsk now. Members of Kalegium introduced seminar participants to basic principles of this project and answered their questions. These three days were overflowing with new information, impressions, and ideas. After a short excursion in Pinsk downtown, visitors went to railway station. Back home they will speak about their new experience and impressions with their colleagues. Kalegium members hope that their work will take roots in other parts of Belarus and more Rubbles will turn into Roses.

From the website www.belarus.nu Initiated from the seminar sponsored by Swedish social democratic party.